Monday, July 7, 2008

Lesson Learned...

Saturday we went out for a bit to run some errands and although Georgia slept most of the time, we didn’t quite make it home before she woke up hungry and ready to eat. A soft whimper quickly became wailing after she realized that it was going to be a few minutes before her needs were met. She cried all the way home. It was a very long 10 minutes. Harold and I felt so bad for her because as I peeked into the back seat I could see that she was red-faced and teary eyed. Harold kept saying reassuring her that as soon as we could, we would feed her. She hasn’t missed a single meal in her whole 3 weeks, he reminded her but it was of no use…So as soon as we got home I took her in and immediately started to feed her. Her eyes were filled with tears as she looked up at me and immediately mine were filled with tears as well. My heart was broken as I imagined her desperation in those minutes as she called out for her need to be met. My most basic instinct as her mother is to meet her needs before she realizes she has them. Not her wants…Her needs. So when she has to shed one tear before I can respond, I hurt. Bear with me though…this isn’t about me not wanting her to ever cry. That will happen and I can handle it. It’s a lesson that God has taught me through that car ride home.

So many times…too many to count…as a child of God, I have cried out in desperation of a need. And without fail, He has always met that need AS SOON AS HE COULD! At times that has been immediate and others it has taken years, but there was and is always, always a reason and it was never a minute too soon OR too late. Never. Georgia could have cared less about the reason for the wait that day and so many times I find myself not asking God to explain to the reason to me but if only I would, He would faithful to answer and in turn build my confidence in His care. I imagine that as He looks down at my tears sometimes, the very God Himself that holds every one of them, wonders just how I could have forgotten all of the “meals I never missed”. He has to be saddened by the doubt when I wonder again if He will come when I cry out. He will always meet our needs according to His purpose...AND He will always be faithful to explain when we ask for reasons. Some answers may be easier to understand than others, but they ALWAYS line up with HIS will for our lives. Always.

As much as I love Georgia, He loves us in a way that I could never comprehend. I am His child and His love is perfect. I cannot imagine the depth of a love so pure. Nevertheless, this lesson learned has been one of many that I am confident He will begin to teach me about Himself through the life of my child and boy how thankful I am to be His child……

2 comments:

Gary and Summer said...

what an awesome post heather. I always enjoy your insights! thanks!

Sherry said...

good post girlie. oh, the dreaded newborn cry! ripped me apart every time!