i usually don't share my journal entries, but i this one i must. this was from a year ago today.
Old Man Winter
the past weekend harold and i went for a run on saturday morning. he had a bit more energy so i started walking while he ran ahead. i was admiring the changing color of the leaves on the trees and a certain nicole nordeman song about seasons came to mind. the particular part was about winter. to quote she says:"even now in death You open doors for life to enter. You are Winter"all i know about trees came to mind. how their roots grow big & strong in winter. how even though they look dead, they are building stronger foundations and i started thinking and comparing the process to this season in my life.i started wondering if the reason i wasn't getting pregnant was because this is my winter season. more certainly than ever have i felt the hand of the Lord in my life. pruning away at old habits, old attitudes, old sin. the thought of being a mother has pushed me closer and closer to Him for re-shaping and now i wonder if in this season of death (to self, to sin, to habits) He in fact in making doors open for life to enter. a baby. possibility right? so...i started asking Him (of course, i gotta ask) "God, just how long will this season last." not in a ' i just need to know now kinda way', more like i mean if that is what's going on, then can i get a timeframe? i imagine He got a kick out of that because He promptly answered... his answer was that I won't ever know and the very reason is that I would do everything I could to speed it up and it just doesn't work that way. heather, it just doesn't work that way. okay. i get it. and i'll be patient. some days are easier but even if Spring comes and brings different life than expected i'm so thankful for the roots He builds. they are my legacy. period.
i found out i was pregnant 3 days after i wrote this in my journal.
my point? this morning harold encouraged me to have a good day and to show georgia what a godly mother looks like. when he left i looked at her face and began to weep. i find myself in the same 'season' as a year ago except now i AM a mother and new habits, new sins, new attitudes need to die. i am begging for Old Man Winter to come again and prune away. i have been discouraged lately and today...this journal entry...has reminded me that the whole time i will spend here needs to be full of seasons that in-turn build stronger roots, no matter how 'cold' they might feel....
enjoy the fall day my friends...and welcome winter with open arms.
"One generation plants the roots...another enjoys the shade."