Full Circle...

So I never forget...

We decided to 'try' and have a baby on a Sunday in May of 2007.  I remember the conversation in the car like it was this morning.  And I thought that surely I would be pregnant the next month.  4 months passed by and I was starting to wonder if God's will was for us to have a family.  Month 5 came and went and I remember one night being so discouraged.  I have made too many mistakes to count in my past and I thought that maybe just maybe, a few of them were now coming back to cost me what I so desperately wanted.  I opened my bible to Psalm 30 that night and poured my tears and soul into the promises of these verses....

I wrote that date in my bible because for some reason I felt like God going to use that night and that child to show just how far His forgiveness goes.  And indeed, I conceived Georgia Marie that very day. Joy came in the morning and it hasn't stopped showing up since. Fast forward 3 years...  

Summer before last (so 2011) Harold and I had a conversation one night while giving Georgia a bath.  Both of us had felt...ummm...indifferent and "off" for a few weeks.  One the many benefits of living in a small house and not having TV is the inability to hide your emotions.  It is a blessing that I don't take for granted.  You have to communicate with each other unless you want to be seriously bored. :)  Anyway, we talked and I put my finger on what was the matter.  We had gotten out of the habit of giving thanks.  Truly being thankful.  For all that we had...our home, our health, each other, our family, his job, our church.  It's so easy to get to the place where it all just happens.  Days are lived out over and over again without stopping to give thanks for what is simple, beautiful gifts.  All from Him.  We both agreed our perspective would be changed with a lot more intentional gratitude.  And it was.  Fall came...then Thanksgiving...then December.  December brought a surprise pregnancy and even though we were beyond surprised, we gave thanks.  In fact, we concieved that child on Thanksgiving.  I know that because we were VERY...um...protective every other time.  My "Thanks - giving" baby. So Christmas came and then the New Year.  Our appointment to see the baby for the first time at 11 weeks was on Jan. 19th.  That day is and always will be significant because it's the anniversary of Keke's death.  It also became the day we found out about the death of our baby.  I remember thinking in those days following that I must give thanks.  Once again.  Regardless.  And it became so very easy...not in that it was easy to lose what was so precious to us, but that it was so easy to see how His goodness and mercy had indeed followed us all those days. So we gave thanks.  The days turned to months and the month before our Thanksgiving baby was due we found out that we were pregnant again.  One of my initial thoughts was how very gracious and sweet it was of our Creator to allow me to be pregnant again when August 14th came and went.  I could think of what was and then celebrate what was to come.  So our first appointment came and they told me our baby would be due March 30, 2012.  Perfect spring baby I thought.  I got home that night and opened my bible.  I decided on the Psalms again and thought Psalm 30 would be good since the due date was the 30th, not making the connection from 5 years ago.  And there in the pages of His living and active Word, He so sovereignly brought my all my babies full circle...

Only a God that is real and present and loving can do that.  Dare we ever forget how tenderly He loves us.  He is so willing to reveal Himself and His sovereignty if we just slow down and look for it...

I am halfway through this pregnancy.  Word from the doctor yesterday said that we have a healthy baby in the making.  I cannot wait for Spring and the newness it will bring. 

O Lord, My God...I WILL give thanks to You forever! 

To the King...